By Kathryn Watson
We all forget things from time to time but I noticed my mother in law becoming more and more forgetful after her husband died. She had been under a lot of stress which has been proven to affect short term memory but something else was going on. I didn't realize before how much she relied on my father in law for things like going to the store and driving them where ever they needed to go.
Now Pat could still drive but with her arthritis it was getting more and more difficult to get in and out of the car. A trip to the grocery store left her in pain for several days. So she stopped getting out. Unfortunately many of her friends had passed away and the few she had left were not in any better shape than she was. My once very social mother in law became a recluse. That's when I really began to notice the changes. She was depressed. She rarely left the house and often had no social interaction at all in a day. This was not the lady I knew and loved! Pat had always been the social butterfly!
We hired a companion care agency and that did help. At least we knew she was eating and there was someone to help with the driving but there was still something missing.
We all forget things from time to time but I noticed my mother in law becoming more and more forgetful after her husband died. She had been under a lot of stress which has been proven to affect short term memory but something else was going on. I didn't realize before how much she relied on my father in law for things like going to the store and driving them where ever they needed to go.
Now Pat could still drive but with her arthritis it was getting more and more difficult to get in and out of the car. A trip to the grocery store left her in pain for several days. So she stopped getting out. Unfortunately many of her friends had passed away and the few she had left were not in any better shape than she was. My once very social mother in law became a recluse. That's when I really began to notice the changes. She was depressed. She rarely left the house and often had no social interaction at all in a day. This was not the lady I knew and loved! Pat had always been the social butterfly!
We hired a companion care agency and that did help. At least we knew she was eating and there was someone to help with the driving but there was still something missing.
The helpers they sent were young and energetic but there just wasn't anything in common. Her memory kept getting worse and she also seemed confused at times.
Moving her to an Independent living community was difficult at first. She wanted to stay in her own home with her own things. The memory actually seemed to get worse the first few weeks. I worried we had made the wrong decision. Her memory was worse because she was in a new environment and because she barely ventured out of her apartment.
Gradually with encouragement she began to venture out and meet people. As the weeks and now months have gone by we have noticed a remarkable improvement. She is participating in activities with people her own age and has something to look forward to every day. She no longer calls us 5 times a day to tell us the same thing over and over. She has even stopped taking the pain medication she took 4 times a day at home.
My take on this- Her memory is improving because...
For my mother in law this was the best solution. Each person is different and each circumstance is unique to the individual. As a life coach and Eldercare Advisor specializing in working with families of aging adults I help you to look at the whole picture and choose the decision that is best for all involved parties. As a daughter and daughter in law I know these decisions are not always easy. Email me today to see how I can help!
Moving her to an Independent living community was difficult at first. She wanted to stay in her own home with her own things. The memory actually seemed to get worse the first few weeks. I worried we had made the wrong decision. Her memory was worse because she was in a new environment and because she barely ventured out of her apartment.
Gradually with encouragement she began to venture out and meet people. As the weeks and now months have gone by we have noticed a remarkable improvement. She is participating in activities with people her own age and has something to look forward to every day. She no longer calls us 5 times a day to tell us the same thing over and over. She has even stopped taking the pain medication she took 4 times a day at home.
My take on this- Her memory is improving because...
- She is now getting better nutrition. Someone is cooking three meals a day. Left on her own she ate very little.
- She gets more exercise going to the dining room and to participate in activities. At home she just sat in a chair by herself.
- She is engaged with others and has social interaction every day! This is the most important for Pat. The social butterfly is flying again.
For my mother in law this was the best solution. Each person is different and each circumstance is unique to the individual. As a life coach and Eldercare Advisor specializing in working with families of aging adults I help you to look at the whole picture and choose the decision that is best for all involved parties. As a daughter and daughter in law I know these decisions are not always easy. Email me today to see how I can help!
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