
For a while Sharon kept her head in the sand. Some days Bob seemed perfectly normal and she wondered if the diagnosis of Alzheimer's was correct.
Her children kept trying to get her to move but Sharon and Bob were living in Florida and adored their home. Bob worshiped the sun and spent most days by the pool or at the beach. Sharon did not want to take these pleasures away from him. Moving, for Sharon, meant giving up the dream of growing old together. They had planned for their retirement and had so looked forward to all of the wonderful times they would enjoy as they grew old together.
This is a story I hear often, different names, different location but basically the same story. Letting go of your dream of growing old together isn't easy but sticking your head in the sand isn't going to change what is. It is what it is. Here are four steps to reclaiming and recreating your life.
Her children kept trying to get her to move but Sharon and Bob were living in Florida and adored their home. Bob worshiped the sun and spent most days by the pool or at the beach. Sharon did not want to take these pleasures away from him. Moving, for Sharon, meant giving up the dream of growing old together. They had planned for their retirement and had so looked forward to all of the wonderful times they would enjoy as they grew old together.
This is a story I hear often, different names, different location but basically the same story. Letting go of your dream of growing old together isn't easy but sticking your head in the sand isn't going to change what is. It is what it is. Here are four steps to reclaiming and recreating your life.
- Educate Yourself- Learn everything about the issues you and your loved one are facing. Attend conferences, join the association relevant to your issue (ie.-Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, Arthritis, etc). You also may want to consider joining a support group.
- Every Single Day Take Out Time for You- This is not time to do chores or help someone else. This is quiet time just for you. Take a walk, a bike ride, join a yoga or tai chi class, journal or take a long relaxing bath without interruptions. For this to be effective you need a minimum of 20 minutes of totally you time. No interruptions and no cell phone!
- Talk Therapy- if you have a really good friend who will just listen without getting caught up in your drama, great! Spend time with this person. If you find that your friends either don't understand or don't know how to help you then it may be time to consult a professional. A Life Coach will help you push past the places where you are stuck to make the decisions you need to make for the health and well being of both you and your spouse.
- Create a Plan With a Timeline- What causes the most stress is the not knowing. The fear of what is going to happen next. If your loved one has a disease you have a pretty good idea of how it most likely will progress. Deciding what you will do and how you will handle these changes when they happen will help you to have a sense of control over the situation.
As I continue to say, you don't have to do this alone! If you need help, call me at 281-827-7090. I am always happy to help. ~ Kathryn Watson